Four letters

So far 2017 has been kind of awful. My fiance (yes I am both engaged and recently divorced. Don’t you judge me!) has been hospitalized and diagnosed with MRSA. While he recuperates, I am at home, alone, waiting and spending my time being terrified and tearful. I wonder, is the depression I am feeling a natural low? Is it a side effect of the worry? The numbness I feel and the emptiness. Normal reactions to fear when faced with terrible illness? Or is this just….. Me?

I feel as though my emotions are either too grand or not enough. I am either made of dust or fire, nothing in between.

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