Mini BPD

Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if my darling daughter has the same issue as I do. It’s difficult for me to tell the difference between what’s normal for an almost six year old, and what constitutes a problem. These past few days should go down in the “problem” category. 

There have been countless meltdowns and tears shed over ridiculous, fixable, things. I wonder though, is it only because I am seeing myself in her? Or is she feeding off of me? One of our biggest concerns as parents is how to keep our children safe. How can I keep her safe from herself if she, too, is bipolar? How do I keep her from this diagnosis? 

I know there is a slight possibility that she will have issues as she ages; after all, mental illness runs in families. Hell, you should meet my family. We’d take up an entire ward in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. There are more and more options for children who may have problems, but where does one start? I almost feel as though even looking into it condemns her to a life with a broken brain; just like me. 

I’d love for her to love words, art, science; for her to be talented in music and with sewing; for her to be funny and loving… but never in my life did I think she might take after my in this way. 

2 thoughts on “Mini BPD

  1. It’s so hard when it comes to mental illness and children. She will either have it or won’t, nothing you can do as a parent will change that. The question is when to diagnose and treat. At what age can she understand answer the questions needed to be diagnosed. The best part, if you can actually call it that, is she has parents that understands the conditions. I went for nearly 30 years being undiagnosed and thought of as being just lazy because I would go for weeks without getting out of bed because no one in my family understood anything about mental illness.

    • I know! Part of me knows she is likely just being a kid, but I can’t help but project myself onto her. When she is old enough, I plan on being very frank with her and explaining what BPD is and how it affects me. I just hope I can be helpful to her and not freak her out. “By the way, dear; mommy is crazy.”

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